Author: ChristianWorks

Calling all African-American Families!

Posted on | by ChristianWorks

“Are you currently working with an African-American family?”  Is  a question I am asked once or twice a month.  The answer to that question is always, “Sorry, we do not have an African-American family on our waiting list. I wish I could help you.”

The growing assumption is that African Americans don’t adopt,  which is not an accurate statement.  The truth is most African Americans adopt within their families, or through a state subsidized program.    As an African American, I applaud my community for the continuous efforts of family preservation through kinship and state adoptions. However, African Americans are underrepresented in the private adoption community.

On a daily basis, I ask myself what we can do to reach the African-American community to encourage private adoptions.   This is a growing issue, because there are an increasing number of African-American and bi- racial women that choose adoption, as opposed to other options.  In most cases, African-American women would like for their baby to belong to an African-American family.  We want to support our birth mothers wishes; however it can become discouraging for birth mothers and the adoption staff to hear the same response from other adoption agencies,   “Sorry, we do not have an African-American family on our waiting list. I wish I could help you.”

I want to help make a change.  It is my desire to help African-Americans to become equally represented in the private adoption community.  If you are a married African American couple looking to grow your family through adoption, or if you have questions about adoption, please call Charvette Simmons @ 972-960-9981 or 214-952-7421.

Ephesians 1:5 “He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to himself, according to the kind intention of His will.”

 

Mulligans

Posted on | by ChristianWorks

My husband is an avid golfer.  One term he uses (and puts into practice quite often) is “mulligan”.  When he tees off and it “shanks” he wants a “mulligan.”  He plays with a group of guys that are constantly in need of “mulligans.”  I am not sure what a “handicap” is in golf, but these guys are too busy having fun to be overly concerned with improving their game.

Sometimes in life we would like a “mulligan.”  For example, your wife asks if these jeans make her look fat, and you (in a blind moment of insanity) answer in the affirmative.  Or, your toddler wants a set of drums, and that crazy Santa delivers.  Then this little bubble appears over your head: “What was I thinking???  I messed that one up!  Can I have a ‘mulligan’?”

That’s what I like about that old movie “Groundhog Day.”  Bill Murray gets the chance for a “mulligan”, again, and again, and again.  Until he gets it right.  Until he changes.  The same old mistakes kept getting him the same old results.  Only when he changed his reaction to happenings around him, when he changed his perspective and outlook, when his focus became more outward than inward, did the end results change.

As human beings in the real world, we don’t get “mulligans”.  But, here is the good news, we do get second chances.  Our God is the God of second chances!  Between Him and us, he can wipe the slate clean, if we let Him.  Gone.  Poof!  Our sins are as far away as the East is from the West.

However, between others and us it isn’t always so easy.  Past hurts and mistakes can leave scars that go deep, damaging relationships and even our own perception of ourselves.  That is where CounselingWorks comes in.  With Christian counseling sometimes hurts can be healed, relationships restored, and perspectives changed.  The Bible says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  That means we can be transformed!  It’s not a “maybe we can, maybe we can’t” proposition.  It is do-able.  We can’t change the past, but we can change the future.  It begins by changing ourselves, for the better.

My prayer for you and for me is that we accept God’s second chance offer.

An Adoptee’s Identity: Waiting OnThe Lord

Posted on | by ChristianWorks

Who am I? As an adopted child going through her teen years, I began to fantasize about the unknown of my past. People who didn’t know I was adopted would say, “You look just like your father!” I was blessed with a wonderful set of Christian parents and a brother. I had always taken pride in the fact that my dad’s relatives were descendents of the famous Cattleman, Charles Goodnight Jr. It was also fun to learn that my mom’s uncle was a Texas Ranger and a wildly, talented marksman. It helped to know my parents’ loved me and pointed out things we had in common with each other. However, each time these things came up, it would cause my mind to wander to a lone sheet of paper, filled with general descriptions and characteristics of my birth parents. As much fun as it was to know I belonged to my family who adopted me, there was still an empty feeling inside that caused me to wonder about the family I had come from. Where did I get my physical features from? Why was I always obsessed with learning about different foods people ate throughout history? Why was I so good at English and so bad at Math? Would my unknown family love and accept me if I were to ever run into them one day? It was difficult not having these answers, and often they lead to unhealthy thoughts feeling like I couldn’t fully belong to anyone. Little did I realize that the Lord was working on these things in His own time…

Although I didn’t meet my birth family until just a few years ago, I learned that they had prayed for me from the moment they learned I existed throughout the years after I was born and placed in my adoptive family. My mom had always told us she and my dad prayed for my brother and me every night to become the adults God had meant for us to be. The Lord not only heard every prayer, but answered them throughout the way He brought us all together. It is a blessing now to say I belong to my family who raised me and my family who was unknown until a few years ago. The Lord takes care of every aspect of our lives when we learn to rely upon Him and His timing. The Lord does not expect any of us to, “Have it all together” whether we are in our thirties with children or in our 70’s with great-grandchildren. What He wants is for us to realize we first and foremost belong to Him, regardless of who we belong to during our short time here.

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”

Psalm 27:14