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An Adoptee’s Identity: Waiting OnThe Lord

By January 23, 2012Uncategorized

Who am I? As an adopted child going through her teen years, I began to fantasize about the unknown of my past. People who didn’t know I was adopted would say, “You look just like your father!” I was blessed with a wonderful set of Christian parents and a brother. I had always taken pride in the fact that my dad’s relatives were descendents of the famous Cattleman, Charles Goodnight Jr. It was also fun to learn that my mom’s uncle was a Texas Ranger and a wildly, talented marksman. It helped to know my parents’ loved me and pointed out things we had in common with each other. However, each time these things came up, it would cause my mind to wander to a lone sheet of paper, filled with general descriptions and characteristics of my birth parents. As much fun as it was to know I belonged to my family who adopted me, there was still an empty feeling inside that caused me to wonder about the family I had come from. Where did I get my physical features from? Why was I always obsessed with learning about different foods people ate throughout history? Why was I so good at English and so bad at Math? Would my unknown family love and accept me if I were to ever run into them one day? It was difficult not having these answers, and often they lead to unhealthy thoughts feeling like I couldn’t fully belong to anyone. Little did I realize that the Lord was working on these things in His own time…

Although I didn’t meet my birth family until just a few years ago, I learned that they had prayed for me from the moment they learned I existed throughout the years after I was born and placed in my adoptive family. My mom had always told us she and my dad prayed for my brother and me every night to become the adults God had meant for us to be. The Lord not only heard every prayer, but answered them throughout the way He brought us all together. It is a blessing now to say I belong to my family who raised me and my family who was unknown until a few years ago. The Lord takes care of every aspect of our lives when we learn to rely upon Him and His timing. The Lord does not expect any of us to, “Have it all together” whether we are in our thirties with children or in our 70’s with great-grandchildren. What He wants is for us to realize we first and foremost belong to Him, regardless of who we belong to during our short time here.

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”

Psalm 27:14

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