Author: ChristianWorks

Love Never Dies

Posted on | by ChristianWorks

Larry Barber is a man you should meet if you have not already done so. He made a promise to God, has been given the opportunity to fulfill it and has asked the pertinent question that so many fail, when they make a promise to God; “Examine me LORD, and try me; test my mind and my heart.” Psalms 26:2.

Discover the promise and God’s opportunity given Larry to fulfill it by reading his book.

Love Never Dies: Embracing Grief with Hope and Promise encourages the mourner to embrace grief as the normal expression of love for a person that died. Grief resides in the community of 1 Corinthians 13:7 where love is described as “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.” This is an important book for all mourners, and their counselors, therapist, ministers, pastors, chaplains and friends to allow the grief experience to be a healing one and not a fearful one.

Larry pilots the mourner and care giver through understanding the dichotomy of grief.

While it is normal in what it expresses it is unique in how it is experienced by each individual. The mourner is liberated from the societal requirements of compliance with a standard process and set time frame in which to “deal with it and move on.” Care givers will find relief from thinking they must be the advisor to recognizing companionship is significantly more valuable to the mourner.

Larry Barber joined ChristianWorks for Children in April of 2007 as Director of GriefWorks and CounselingWorks ministries. In his work thousands of all ages have received comfort and care in navigating their own grief journey. He is the one God had prepared to fill this position to honor a promise made in prayer.

Larry leads Love Never Dies grief support groups around the DFW Metroplex. To learn more about upcoming sessions, visit our Love Never Dies webpage.

The Top Ten Things Kids of Divorce Need. . .

Posted on | by ChristianWorks

Immediate reassurance 

  • When children first find out that their parents are getting a divorce they may wonder what will happen to them.  Once a parent has left, they may wonder if the other parent will leave them, too.  They need immediate reassurance that they will be cared for by a responsible parent.

Honest age appropriate information 

  • Children can deal with what they know better than with what they don’t know.  Remember to phrase the negative in a simple way kids can understand.  Example:  “Your mom and I won’t live in the same house together anymore because we are not going to be married anymore.  Our family will be different now, but we love you and will take good care of you.”  Make sure to inform them of exactly what will happen with the new changes in their lives.  Example:  “Dad will pick you up from school today, and he will bring you back home this evening.”

To know it is not their fault

  • It is a natural tendency for children to begin to blame themselves for the divorce in their family.  Children may feel guilty and like they did something to cause the divorce.  They should be told up front that they in no way caused the divorce.

Parents to act civil toward each other

  • Parents need to act civil toward each other. Anger and hostility are normal reactions for adults and children when going through a divorce.  However, it is in the best interest of the child to not “bad mouth” the other parent.

Parents to get the help they need

  • Children need their parents to get help.  The healthier parents can become the healthier the children can become.  Seek counseling.

Consistency

  • Provide as much of a normal consistent routine as possible.  With so many changes happening in their lives, children of divorce need to have their daily routines stay intact as much as possible.

Support

  • Children of divorce need to be able to talk with someone besides their parents.  Being put in the middle of their parents’ divorce is hard for a child.  They need to be able to vent about their situation and know that they will not hurt mom or dad by what they are saying.  Find a counselor or support group for your child.  Make sure teachers know what’s going on in your family.

Extra love 

  • Children struggle with the death of their parent’s marriage and the family structure as they knew it. Children will grieve this loss producing stress, fears, and worries.  Your extra expressions of love can go a long way in helping them cope.

Extra Patience

  • Children will more than likely become angry at you, their siblings, and/or other family members.   Grades may begin to drop.  Defiance may become an issue.  Remember, they are hurting.  Allow them to hurt.  Help them learn to channel their anger by exercising, journaling, listening to music and getting physical exercise.

Happy Times

  • When families go through a divorce, children can feel especially sad and lonely.  They need to be encouraged, and they need to be able to have some fun.  Even in the midst of the turmoil, try to find something kids enjoy doing and do it with them!

Words of Wisdom from Abraham Lincoln

Posted on | by ChristianWorks

Today as we take time to honor our Presidents, here are some words of wisdom from our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln:

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.

We thank God today for Great Leaders of our country who have helped build a nation with vision, character, love, perseverance, justice, and trust in God.

1 Timothy 2:1-4

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people, for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.