Many times when a couple has made a plan to adopt they are often questioned by outsiders. Below are some ideas for handling these questions.
1. As a family make the decision before hand what information you want to share, and with whom you wish to share it with.
2. Remember that they are the ones asking the question. Don’t allow them to put you on the defensive. They are the ones whose prying behavior should be questioned, not your reluctance to answer.
3. The way you respond to questions will often times relay to them your attitude about the adoption process. If you respond in a defensive manner often times it will reinforce the questioner’s negative perception of adoption.
4. Always remember to use positive adoption language.
5. Keep in mind that you may be the only education that some will receive on adoption. With that in mind, make sure that you are educated on all aspects of adoption.
6. Assure your child(ren) that not all questions from adults must be answered. If a question is inappropriate or rude it should be ignored.
7. Realize that questions about adoption are endless, and that through time you will continue to be better equipped to answer them.
8. Rehearse responses to questions prior to them being asked, so that when the occasion arises you will be ready.
There are no “correct” answers. However, a comfortable attitude toward adoption and a good grasp of Positive Adoption Language will provide good answers.
Check out our article on Positive Adoption Language.
AdoptionWorks Post Adoption is a free support group program for adoptees ages five to seventeen. At AdoptionWorks we provide a safe and loving environment where children and teens can connect with others who are adopted. Here adoptees can find the freedom and safety to explore their adoption experience openly. The curriculum for the post adoption support groups has been developed by licensed mental health professionals who are also adopted. These groups are designed by adoptees, as well as adoption professionals, for adoptees and their parents.