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Monica Epperson answers, “Why Children of Divorce?”

16 Jan, 2012

by ChristianWorks

Curled up in a porcelain bathtub that had been donated to my elementary school library to encourage kids to read, I read, for the first time, about a girl going through her parents’ divorce.  I couldn’t put the book down.  Judy Blume had single-handedly pulled me out of my distaste for reading and provided a new friend who struggled with the same questions and fears that I did.  Her name was Karen.  It’s Not the End of the World was more than just a title; it was a new realization that I was not only going to survive divorce, but that I was going to someday become a writer and befriend as many of my peers as I could.

As 2007 came to a close, I released my first book, A Heart with Two Homes.  This book depicts my personal story of having two very different homes and two very different lives. Elizabeth, the main character in the book, is Lizzy in her mom’s world and Beth in her dad’s world.  Like many children of divorce, she tries to please both parents separately.  By the end of the book she not only finds her voice, but also discovers that she desires to be called Elizabeth because she is one heart and one person.

“A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.”  This may be a well-known saying, but have you ever considered the ramifications of this proverb?

What if the marks are lines of guilt, lines of fear, lines of mistrust or lines of anger?  A child only knows what they have been taught or trained to believe is normal or good.  What keeps them from marking on their own children with the same marker?

The Lord says in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce.  It is hard to be any plainer than, “I hate divorce.” Maybe His hatred for divorce is directly related to His awesome understanding of the horrible effects.

KidWorks is addressing the negative effects.  They are providing children with marks of understanding, marks of compassion and marks of unconditional love.  The children of divorce who are able to go through a KidWorks program will be walking away with a sense of a new normal; one that includes coping skills for handling the negative issues associated with divorce.  That perception, that exposure, can never be taken from that child.

I read a book in a bathtub.  I now write them.

This year I released my second book, Bounce, for boys.  Michael, the main character, faces a new reality since the divorce of his parents – losing his dad as the coach of his basketball team.  His older cousin, Cole, takes on mentoring him through playing basketball on the weekends and talking through the divorce. Through the process Michael realizes that he will bounce back and that he loves playing basketball.

I am thrilled to share my heart and my stories with KidWorks and the families they minister to as they are going through a divorce.  I am confident that investing in children is more than a moral obligation – it is a spiritual mandate.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

Monica Epperson

CEO of The Child of Divorce

Learn more about KidWorks and The Child of Divorce partnership by watching the video below.

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